Genealogy
By Joan Stewart Smith, Guest Blogger
Stewart Communications
Tips to Interview Relatives About Ancestors
Part 3 in a Series
Families getting together for the holidays encourages us to reconnect with family members and to meet new relatives across multiple generations. This time of year is the perfect opportunity to talk
to relatives and learn more about your family history.
Begin Exploring Your Family History Now
Realize that time is
running out to speak to the senior members of your clan – your grandparents, older
aunts and uncles, and cousins-once-removed – because next year they may not be
here to share their stories. Sadly, when they are gone, part of your family history, which often is passed word of mouth dies with them, like treasures lost forever in shifting sands.
Whatever your experience level, chatting with your
family to gather information is one of the most necessary and productive activities in studying genealogy.
“It is the stories that keep people alive,” says biographer Doris Kearns Goodwin, author of such biographies as The Fitzgeralds and The Kennedys. You
tap into new personal information about individual family members, and you experience each
as an eyewitness to history.
Ways to start the
memories flowing
- Have a friendly conversation in a relaxed setting.
You don’t want your relative to feel pressured, but chances are they will be
delighted in your interest.
- Prepare a list of questions in advance, but don’t
feel you have to stick to any order. Start with open-ended thoughts
like: “What are the biggest changes you’ve seen in your life?” “Do you remember
what you were doing when you first learned President Kennedy was shot?” After you spark up the
discussion, ask more factual questions, such as where you were born; where
did you grow up; birth, marriage and death dates; number of children; where
people lived; what they did for a living among others.
- Remember, don't just ask questions. Take part in the
conversation, make eye contact, and show what you’re feeling. Let your
relative’s reminisces unfold, whether they are happy or sad. My cousin remembered
a fateful Thanksgiving that influenced the relationship of my grandfather and
his brother on adjoining farms. But
there were also happy memories: the women carrying ginger water out to the
thirsty men in the cornfields, a faithful dog who protected my father as a
child as he roamed across the acres, and the sight of red cardinals on the
bird feeders during the harsh winter
- To kindle nostalgia, bring photos, documents, the
family tree, pedigree charts, and family group sheets, among others. Ask your relative in advance if they have any
keepsakes, photos, birth-marriage-death certificates, letters, journals and
other records to share. And, if it's okay with them, take photos of these important pieces of history with your smartphone or camera which will allow you to add valuable sources to all the personal data you've collected.
- Take good notes, but with permission, you can also
record the conversation to save and refer to later. Because recording formats
change over the years, make sure you transcribe the conversation to share with
future generations.
- Show friendly interest and be thankful for their
time and contribution to “our family story.” Unless you feel your relative is
tiring or wants to keep going, expect that the conversation could last from one
to two hours.
Chances are you will finish this fascinating family history discussion with a
new heart-to-heart connection with your relative. These personal narratives
link us to the past, but they also shed new light on the present, linking us to
each other and our sense of family and community. Armed with the insights you gather from others, you’ll be more than ready to record new information and stories for future generations.
Other Posts in MBE's Amateur Genealogy Series
About the Author
Joan Stewart Smith, who ranks genealogy among her favorite pursuits, is a married mom of grown son. As a highly creative talent, she heads Stewart Communications, an independent consultancy specializing in PR, marketing & communications, social media, and writing. During her career, she has promoted products and services for clients ranging from fast-growing startups to established Fortune 100 companies, as well as PR and advertising agencies. Previously, she was a vice president at a leading high tech PR agency in Los Angeles. Joan holds a B.A. in English and Journalism from San Jose State University and studied in the UCLA Department of Information Studies. Follow Joan @jstewartsmith on Twitter.
FTC Disclosure: The content for this blogpost is provided by Joan Stewart Smith and opinions here are the author's, photos included as credited. However, readers should keep in mind that no MBE blogpost is a substitute for advice by a qualified professional of your choice. No brand provided payment or other compensation in connection with this post. See complete FTC Disclosure information that appears at the bottom of MommyBlogExpert's home page and at the bottom of every individual page including this one.
